Damien Hirst, Gilt-Edged Toilets and the Humble Shepherd's Pie

The evolution of perceived luxury is an incredible thing. Once upon a time the height of epicurean extravagance was considered to be the addition of a bidet to you en-suite bathroom or having Egyptian cotton bed sheets.

Nowadays though the bidet has to be encrusted with diamonds à la Hirst whilst our bed sheets must be woven from the wool of an extinct Tibetan sheep by a hand maiden named Rapunzel. Keeping up with the Jones’ is so 1990 – now its all about keeping up with the Al Maktoums.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m no stranger to decadence – last week I even bought a ready meal from Marks & Spencer (its not just food…) but recently there is a trend that has irked even my conception of what is acceptably pretentious: Gold plated food.

I crap you not.

A few days ago I tried out a new restaurant with some friends and after a 6 course tasting menu to underwhelm the appetite of even the skinniest Lilliputian I happened across a dessert that promised to save the day. The description mentioned something about golden pastry and cinnamon apples such that the reminiscence of strudels gone by was too much to resist. Unfortunately what turned up looked more like a Fabergé egg on an off day (with a price tag to match).

Suspecting a security guard might cosh me over the head for even picking up my fork it took me a couple of minutes to muster up the courage to take a bite. But take a bite I did…and impressed I was not. By its very nature the notion of a dessert fondled by Midas is style over substance and goes against everything I love about food – hearty, simple dishes that make your insides want to take you on a spa day to say thank you.

Call me traditional but there is a time and a place for gold. The Crown Jewels yes; your new dentures no. Spanish Doubloons yes; your twice baked cheese soufflé no.

If you happen to be the wife of a Russian oligarch and you like your pudding to match your handbag then this is the stuff for you…if not then this week’s recipe is probably more up your street – quick and simple yet unctuously tasty its time to get your teeth into my traditional English Shepherd's Pie...

P.S. Best eaten with a cold glass of Dom P ;-)