Designer Thoughtfulness, Italian Food and the Greatest Question of our Time…

There are myriad debates that will rumble on into eternity: The Beatles or The Stones ? Christianity or Islam ? Socialism or Capitalism?

This week I want to tackle the greatest of them all: Fresh Pasta or a New Handbag ?

That Chanel and Bertorelli might not be the most common of bed fellows I will readily concede. Nor could I claim that one is a practical substitute for the other since even the most devout fahionista is unlikely to match their new Jimmy Choos with a sack of durum wheat before they flounce into Cipriani or the like.

No, what I want to get to understand, nay prove, is that something as simple as a quickly thrown together home cooked dinner costing a few quid from the local store is worth far more than any offering from Rodeo Drive.

I happen to be sitting on Rodeo Drive right now. I’m sipping on an organic soy milk frappe-something-or-other witnessing American consumerism in action. And though the constant stream of stick thin perfect 10’s with day-glo dentistry and perma tan legs seem happy with their recent purchases; you just know they secretly yearn for the carbohydrate laden indulgence of a good bowl of penne.

Last week the debate came to a head when I met Lisa and Haley who run London’s elite introduction service Elect Club. Having almost received a mortal head wound from aforesaid Chanel handbag I proposed an experiment on a scale arguably comparable to the Large Hadron Collider – get their male members into the kitchen to prove that fresh pasta could take down Coco’s finest.

So this week’s video is a simple guide to a three course Italian meal that even the most kitchen-averse could handle. And the results of the debate ? Well that’s for you to decide. Guys: what reaction did you get ? Girls: would you really prefer this season’s Louboutin’s to your boyfriend’s seasonal cooking ? We might not solve world peace today but at least we can tick this conundrum off our list…

*** Comments Below - let the debate begin...! ***

Culinary Terrorists and the Chorizo Hamburgers...

There are certain seismic events which have the ability to unite the greatest of our gene pool. The Olympics, The G8 summit and of course the Taste of London Food Festival.

A yearly event, "Taste" (as the cognoscenti call it), brings together the great and the good of UK cuisine so that hordes of foodies can queue up to eat their finest offerings from paper plates on plastic garden furniture.

I turned up this year having undergone an entire day of Yom Kippur style fasting to find that something was strangely amiss - sitting on an upturned vegetable crate outside Regent's Park was the one and only Mushroom Man himself, Antonio Carluccio. Further surveillance revealed Michel Roux jnr. pacing moodily around a police car whilst various other tv chefs who I couldn't quite place impatiently twiddled their thumbs. It looked like the culinary version of Edward Hopper's Nighthawks.

As it turns out the denizens of global terror were giving up on Parliament and turning their attention to far bigger targets: Gordon Ramsay at Stall 55E. Speculation was rife as to the source of the terrorist threat but AA Gill and Ainsley Harriet were both in the frame. As it turns out the suspect package was no more threatening than a dirty nappy in a Lidl Bag (or was that a misplaced sous vide concoction a la Blumenthal ?) and after 45 minutes we were in...

All joking aside it was a great chance to check out a whole range of new restaurants and produce - including most notably new egg white in a carton by Two Chicks (more on this another time) and some great chorizo which inspired me to whip up this week's recipe...

Ingredients

500g best quality minced beef
200g shredded chorizo
Half cup of breadcrumbs
1 whole egg
Tablespoon of pine nuts
Ketchup
Dried oregano
Chilli seeds
Salt and pepper
Mild goat's cheese

Method

Firstly prepare to be astounded by your cooking prowess - this one is as easy as finding dirt on a Labour politician.

Put the minced beef, shredded chorizo, egg (sans shell please), a good squeeze of ketchup, and a couple of good pinches of oregano and chilli seeds in a bowl.

Next put your pinenuts in a dry frying pan over a medium high heat and toast them to a golden colour whilst making witty innuendos to your guests about burning your nuts.

Add the pinenuts to the mixture, season with salt and pepper then get your hands dirty to mix it all up. At this stage I always take a teaspoon of the mixture and cook it in the frying pan to check the seasoning. Not enough Ketchup ? Give it another squidge. Flavour of the beef not quite standing out ? Season that bad boy.

Chill the mixture for at least 20 minutes before dusting some flour on the work surface to make your patties. Grab a handful just smaller than a tennis ball and roll it in the flour before giving it a bit of a slap and neatening up the edge.

Now here's he crucial bit - you can fry, grill or barbeque your burger but don't start basking in your prospective culinary glory just yet or you'll end up overcooking it. I would recommend cooking the burger on a medium high heat for a few minutes each side and topping it with some mild goat's cheese for the last couple of minutes. Medium rare is best in my book.

This burger is so damn good that it doesn't need a bap - for the carb inclined though a nice fresh ciabatta is the best option with a simple side salad and a nice cold Budweiser.

Next week I'm planning a fantastic summer dish which first saw the light of day when I shot a pilot show in LA last year so check in with me then.

Enjoy !

x

(P.S. You've got to love Shoreditch House - I am typing this as Sophie Ellis Bextor is standing two metres away preparing to do a live set...wonder what her favourite dinner would be ?)

Ladettes, ladies and dressing for success...

There are some seminal moments in a man’s life…losing his virginity, the birth of his first child (not necessarily connected) and seeing his country win the rugby World Cup. For me it was meeting Rosemary Shrager (www.rosemaryshrager.com) last week in Herefordshire.

I’d been asked by Mr W, my flamboyant and self-professedly fabulous producer friend, to take part in the new series of Australian Ladette to Lady. Picture the scene as eight feral Aussie girls closely related to Ted Bundy are snatched from the Outback and taken to a finishing school in the depths of Herefordshire for 6 weeks in an attempt to ‘lady-fy’ them. We had been drafted in as the so-called cream of English aristocracy (don’t ask) to give the appearance of dignified social interaction, whilst secretly encouraging them all to behave as atrociously as possible on camera. Tonight was to be the dinner party.

Now let me tell you about Rosemary. As one of the country’s most respected chefs Rosemary Shrager was whipping up soufflés while Jamie Oliver’s parents were still in primary school and I was to sit next to her at dinner…

Whilst the Ladettes served us a starter closely reminiscent of wallpaper paste I chatted to Rosemary about all things epicurean when suddenly the penny dropped:

“Wait a second, aren’t you that chap who loves cooking ? Yes ! The producer showed me your Spanish tortilla on the internet – it was rather wonderful !”

Suddenly life just became more complete.

I chatted to Rosemary ten to the dozen for the next two hours (poor lady, she must have been exhausted by the time I shut up) and perhaps only to put a sock in it she suggested we stay in touch and I come along to see one of her new projects….fingers crossed and watch this space – the opportunity of a lifetime awaits !

Anyway, I digress… this week I’ve got a quickie for you – a tasty, tangy little salad dressing with a Spanish twist to go with that sumptuous Spanish Omelette – and me apparently getting carried away with the word “REALLY” (salad dressing can be exciting too you know).

Next week look out for my chorizo and toasted pine nut burgers – perfect for this unusually pleasant English summer !

x

(Incidentally while I've been writing this Claudia Schiffer has been eating breakfast with her husband two tables down - Zoolander Egg White Omelette to be posted soon)



The Hardy Brits and the Tortilla Espanola...

A couple of weeks ago myself and a bunch of friends were chilling out on Parsons Green, London and typical Brits that we are figured that as it was the first day of the year we hadn't seen rain or cloud it had to be BBQ time...

I cooked up this simple tortilla espanola whilst my friend Alex cremated a few sausages... by the time it was ready the temperature outside was cold enough to hang meat but we stuck it out regardless...

Lulu - you asked for the recipe to my tortilla espanola so this one's for you ... ;@) x




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFEXLKS7z3s

Ingredients

1kg potatoes
6 eggs
1 onion
2 peppers (one red, one yellow)
1 handful shredded chorizo
Olive oil
Salt and Pepper

Method

Easy as falling off a log ... first off get around a kilo of potatoes, peel them and slice to look like 5mm thick crisps - try using a mandolin for this to save time but mind your fingers !

Deep fry the potato in batches in vegetable oil until they have browned off and could be eaten immediately. Drain and put to the side.

Meanwhile slice your onion finely and slow cook it with a good glug of olive oil with the lid on - when they have cooked down in their own juices and taste sweet you've made "confit onions" (throw that phrase in when people ask you the ingredients and await appreciative coo-ing noises).

Remove the stalk and seeds from the peppers, slice thinly and fry in a dash of olive oil until browned off slightly.

Add the potatoes, confit onions and peppers to a bowl with the eggs (beaten) then two good pinches of salt and some pepper.

Mash the sweet b'jesus out of the mix until all ingredients are well mixed, heat up a small frying pan really hot with a dash of olive oil then tip the mixture in.

Give the pan a shake and if the whole thing moves its sealed on all sides - turn down the heat to medium-low and cook for four minutes.

Wipe a large plate with olive oil (so it doesn't stick), place this on top of the tortilla and flip the whole thing onto the plate. Slide it back into the pan on the uncooked side, seal it off as before and then cook on a medium-low heat for another four minutes.

Es todo ! Serve with green salad ... simple dressing recipe to follow.

The beginning of the journey...

Ever since I was knee-high to a grasshopper I have been obsessed with food. In the early years it was a pretty basic case of just eating as much of the stuff as possible which inevitably ended up in me being the porkiest kid in kindegarden, but in later life it became more about that magical culinary alchemy known as cooking.

Over the years I've scraped together knowledge from every available source - books, tv and anyone who was willing to pass on their skills ... its a journey in every sense given that one of the greatest inspirations has always been travelling ... whether it be France, Tokyo, Hong Kong or California its always the food that sticks out in my mind.

Nowadays I get invited to a lot of dinner parties - its nice to be invited and of course I always say yes, but nowadays the host always seems to exclaim "Great ! So what are you going to cook ?"

I love it though - food has that unique ability like nothing else to please, inspire and unite - so with that in mind I've started this blog... I always thought the idea of a blog was slightly narcissistic and self-indulgent - I mean who cares what Patrick has to say about anything ?

Well hopefully if you share my passion for food then some of what I have to say will whet your appetite ... for me its actually a practical exercise... I'm forever messing around with recipes only to forget how I've made something so for the most part this blog is an aide memoire (culinaire) .... here's to a journey full of great food and great company at the end of which we arrive sated in every imaginable sense...

:@)